Wednesday, December 24, 2008
when is a man educated?

When he can look out upon the universe, now lucid and lovely, now dark and terrible, with a sense of his own littleness in the great scheme of things, and yet have unfaltering faith and courage.

When he knows how to make friends and keep them, and above all, when he can keep friends with himself.

When he can be happy alone and high-minded amid the drudgeries of life.

When he can look into a wayside puddle and see something besides mud, and into the face of the most forlorn mortal and see something beyond sin.

When he knows how to live, how to love, how to hope, how to pray - is glad to live.. and has in his heart a bit of lifting song.


-Joseph Fort Newton-



Posted at 07:40 pm by infection
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Monday, November 24, 2008
as told by ginger

Someone once told me the grass is much greener,
On the other side,

And I paid a visit
Well, it's possible I missed it

It seemed different, yet exactly the same
'Til further notice
I'm in-between
From where I'm standing,
My grass is green

Someone once told me the grass is much greener
On the other side...

Posted at 04:53 pm by infection
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Friday, September 21, 2007
a poem by Ophelia Dimalanta

it is perhaps because
one way or the other
we keep this distance
closeness will tug us apart
in many directions
in absolute din
how we love the same
trivial pursuits and
insignificant gewgaws
spoken or inert
claw at the same straws
pore over the same jigsaws
trying to make heads or tails
you take the edges
i take the center
keeping fancy guard
loving beyond what is there
you sling at stars
i bedeck the weeds
straining in song or
profanities towards some
fabled meeting apart
from what dreams read
and suns dismantle
we have been all the hapless
lovers in this wayward world
in almost all kinds of ways
except we never really meet
but for this kind of burning

Posted at 04:03 am by infection
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Friday, December 23, 2005
he's back!



              The  Late Show with David Letterman

                    starting Monday, December 26 on Jack TV


Posted at 09:13 pm by infection
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Sunday, November 20, 2005


Viva Concerts presents MAKSIM... LIVE IN MANILA at the PICC Plenary Hall on December 16, 2005 8:00 pm.

(note to self: file for VL)

Posted at 12:22 am by infection
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Thursday, November 03, 2005
male nude

nothing prepared me for what i saw.

standing in the middle of unfamiliar territory i calmly find myself a way out. all the words i know crossed untold.

im not sure when it all began. but for reasons unfathomable even to my so-called sensibility the foliage and hills ceased from haunting me one day. taken over by a vivid desire to search for something unreal, i stumbled upon an image wicked and  magnificent all at the same time.

first i had to find the subject of my dreams. it certainly wasn't easy, and a rather unlikely incident that the one thing i've shunned all my life suddenly becomes my quarry. for a long time my thoughts dwelt among scenes full of unknown faces. they say finding that you want comes easy when you dont look for it. so i didnt.

i got my reward one of those nights when you'd rather sit by the window than curl up in bed. there! right across my door into the moonlighted street he passed me by. teeming with indescribable strength all too well proclaimed if not for the shadow fluttering in a windless dark. i don't really remember what happened next. exactly how do you tell a man you'd like to undress him real slow and let time stand still for awhile, anyway?

i don't know how i did it but i just did. i found what i was looking for and it would be foolish for me to let go. i chased him..

the next day, i set out on finding a place for him and me to stay. i found one not so far away but somehow offers a rawness the profoundness of which amazed me. by the river that runs slowly and unconditionally down a separate world i did my work. i did my work at night when the sound of rippling waves keep my thoughts from being heard. at night when i am not bounded by the baggage of this world. at night when i can have back the sight that i lost during the day. the night is my refuge. and the man? he's a fleeting ray of light.

for my work's sake i put him in an imaginary rock. all the more dynamic for staying still. in my rock he looks like he had sat there everyday of his life. uncompromising one moment, totally vulnerable the next. just the way i pictured him in my dream to be. the first brushstroke revealed nothing much. i had to work my way up with patience and unwavering faith. i had to capture the emotion that could at any moment change into something else. it is this very kaleidoscopic aspect of his character that drew him to me in the first place.

the evening drizzles broke the flow of our encounters. it gave me time to confront my own uncertainties. in the past i was accused of starting a journey sharing nothing and caring for no one yet holding a kind of scary passion only to stop midway. whatever lies ahead is left in the dark. the glory of not knowing.. i've embraced it for so long.

what happened in the next days didn't hold much of startling revelations to me. after all, i was unfolding layers after layers of guilt and fears.

the time came. the moon was so bright that for a moment i thought daylight had fled. he was standing so close to me i can almost taste his pain. in a distance sitting in my rock his feelings come to me unspoken. in my touch his glory comes quivering.

i had before me proof that they do exist. not in a public square walking among the crowds but in a place by the river not so far away.

i'll never forget the day he finally saw who he was. he didn't move for so long i thought he never ever would. and when he finally did he just turned his back and walked away. with his head bowed down i watched him walk away. away from my world and back to that public square among the crowds once more.

nobody told me to be prepared. and the day i saw him through my hands i know i'll never look at him again.

nobody looks at nothing more than once.

Posted at 11:02 pm by infection
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Thursday, June 23, 2005
2005 Finals MVP

Tim Duncan did it again!!! I'm soooooo proud!!!!!!!!!!!!


"Heís unusually quiet and unassuming for a superstar, doesnít seek publicity, doesnít have a nickname, doesnít cause controversy and as a player, isnít particularly flashy. Merely fundamentally sound in all aspects of the game." 

-MSNBC Special report: Most underappreciated athletes

Posted at 10:46 pm by infection
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Saturday, June 11, 2005

congratulations to my dearest Tim for winning the first (and second!) game in the finals.... woohoo!

congratulations to Shamice on his new little um, pussies. thank you for bringing Blasy into my life. thank you Shamice! thank yoooooo!!!!!

Posted at 03:22 am by infection
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Thursday, June 09, 2005

there can only be one thing in your life that you should never let go.

you have to accept that the rest are not meant to stay. they come to our life only for a certain reason. an unknown purpose. an answer to a troubling question. even the most excruciating pain can leave you. and when it does, you'll even find yourself yelling: hey come back! do you have a name or something!?   

how strange. how bewildering. how crappy. 

how i managed to laugh during the most depressing times of my life i can never explain. i just know i had to. and it felt so gooood it even made me feel immortal.

i used to think pain is immortal. for years i ran with it like a crazy, tormented wind. i had this need to be one with something that will never let me go.

but it did leave me.

i realized something that hurts you so much can stop existing once the reason for it becomes tangible. something that you can see. touch. feel. i saw a fire burning right before my very eyes. surprisingly, every little move i did made me feel so cold. i was burned but cold. and distant. 

i still don't know the one thing i should not let go. but i'm pretty sure what needs to leave.  


Posted at 01:11 am by infection
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Friday, May 13, 2005
to my grandmother...


one of the few people whom i've truly loved in this life is gone. my dearest grandmother... wherever she is...
im sure it is a better place. though the pain of losing her may never go away.. i do hope she has finally found peace and eternal happiness...

she was my best friend... now she is my angel.

To you lola, wherever you are,

i hope you know how much you are loved..
i hope you have forgiven me..

Posted at 12:09 am by infection
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Next Page

"If many remedies are prescribed for an illness, you may be certain that the illness has no cure."
 - A. P. Chekhov
The Cherry Orchard

Vincent van Gogh
Wheat Field with Crows
(Auvers-sur-Oise, July 1890)

"Works of art are indeed always products of having been in danger, of having gone to the very end in an experience, to where man can go no further."
-Rainer Maria Rilke


Edgar Degas
Woman Combing Her Hair





pLacEs tO ViSit

aBoUt mE

- a feminist
- can speak fluent French
- advocate of the anti-mascot movement
- newest passion: pole dancing
- biggest weakness: inertia
- can name all 50 states in less than 17 seconds
- part-time blind item columnist
- was once diagnosed with BPD







lolo pao















pencils and charcoals

Maksim Mrvica

"Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?"
-Robert Browning
Andrea del Sarto

wHat KinD oF MoViE aM I?

Suspenseful Thriller
Nothing is simple. Especially you. Like your movie match, you've got lots of plot twists, and you'd like to keep it that way. That's right, you're no open book. Whether or not you actually lurk in the shadows, you do like to keep people in the dark sometimes. Mysterious and enigmatic, you keep people guessing. When they think they've got you figured out, you enjoy throwing a curve ball their way. Maybe it's the element of surprise that tickles your fancy. Perhaps it's the shock value. Or maybe you're just intensely private. In any case, you keep life intriguing and unpredictable.